Ha! Got your attention. I’m not an entertainer. I tried to run away with the circus when I was ten but in my haste I found myself in a room with a drunken clown and started to cry. In my younger days (say, five or six) I used to put on dance recitals for all my relatives. I was a chubby kid and as such had limited flexibility. It was emotionally damaging for both parties and as a consequence, I have an aversion to most forms of ‘local’ entertainment.
So what about ‘Entertainment in Brisbane”? Gosh darnnit, I don’t know what to say. Firstly, I don’t live in Brisbane and I’m still struggling to navigate the Queen St Mall. Secondly, most forms of entertainment give me the shits. I’m not a hermit- I do attend functions, music festivals and parties BUT I spend months planning my attendance and I’ve canvassed every aspect of it. Also, they’re usually massive events with hundreds of people and minimal clowns.
I don’t get the idea of local entertainment. What is it? Is it markets? Concerts? Musicals? I don’t know. Sounds a bit to me like the Goulburn Pie Festival – you know it’s there, but you don’t really understand why (unless you like pies, in which case it’s the highlight of your year). I can’t help but wonder though; if we took the ‘local’ out of ‘local entertainment’ could we possibly fix the problem? Pure, unadulterated, grand scale entertainment devoid of bumbling locals and marketed worldwide. Hell, we could even have glossy pamphlets!
Look, I know that if I lived in Brisbane I might see ‘Local Entertainment’ as being positive and integral to the community. I live on the Gold Coast and our ‘Local Entertainment’ consists of meter-maids and strippers but hey, let’s be honest, they’re the nucleus of our tourism industry boom.
Brisbane baby, your entertainment is shitty and if you’re not careful, your little town will only be remembered for having a Riverside Expressway made of Lego.
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