Alco-pop tax ratified

Worthington Syndrome hits home

Alex Leggett

Yes, Joe Hockey was right. Champagne doesn’t make you any more drunk than a Vodka Cruiser. I’ve tried it. Although this wasn’t real champagne - I think it was from a Spanish supermarket. I now have a severe antipathy for both parties, which is as easier than downing a Waterfall. And I now share a social antipathy to binge-drinking fiestas that get out of hand and soon you’re face is being splashed all over the news like Corey Worthington, and reaping piles of cash for it. Why not? However, I’d rather plunge into a Scandinavian lake than be interviewed by Anna Coren. Let alone, be condescended to and forced to take off my sunnies.

The Rudd government was going to receive a $1.3 billion revenue from their new legislation that would supposedly put nation-wide halt on binge drinking. However, it won’t stop the hoards of drunkards that swarm on Caxton St after a match at Suncorp and turn to ripping roof tiles off when they are no longer served at around 3am. Residents take cover and cower under their beds when this sort of rebellion turns ugly.

What ever happened to having drinks at dinner and the family? It’s a great way to build immunity to imposing legislation that little to no effect on peoples’ social habits. You get to insult your family and no one remembers it. Great. Just a few bottles of red later you’re lying on the grass outside, rolling around with your grandad and recanting strange accounts of war, when things were sparse but happiness was aplenty. Alcohol may become sparse, but, there is still an overriding joy in binging at home.