Drive yourself Next Time

Amy de Graaf

Accepting a lift with someone can often seem like a good idea at the time. A spur of the moment decision without consideration for another’s driving ability. But what do you do when you realise your newly appointed chauffer can’t drive and probably shouldn’t ever again? And what do you do when you realise there is no way out of the car for a good hour or so?

I’ve been known to dig my fingers into new leather seats as I flew up a windy mountain road at 110km/hr with my life flashing before my eyes. I had only gotten in that car as chaperone and I was locked in for the next few hours as my driver showed off to a friend in the front seat. I found out later she also nearly wet herself and had similar flashbacks of her short life.

Other times I’ve simply tried to ignore a driver who closed his eyes while his brother steered from the passenger seat and instructed when to speed up or slow down. I couldn’t ignore it for long before the brother shouted “Don’t slow down that fast! Holy Crap” followed by the expected dumb male guffaw and a sharp jolt as the wheel got tugged back in the right direction.

Come to think of it all my horrendous driving experiences as a passenger are the result of letting one of the male species take charge. They may see it as a right of passage, a chance to look rad, even if they are only driving a Toyota Camry. It seems quite often receiving a license becomes permission for them to forget all the legalities that restrict you when you’re learning and just go crazy in a mad bid to impress. I barely understand joy riders when they’re only putting themselves at risk, but when taking on the responsibility of several passengers I fail to comprehend how their brain is ticking over and if in fact they have one any more useful than the fluffy dice hanging from their rear view mirror.

I’ve made it my new policy to drive myself and politely decline any offers for a ride, especially from that of the opposite sex and even more so if there are two of them sitting in the front. If I absolutely must accept an offer, possibly if my arm has been ripped from my socket and I need a lift to hospital, I will still take the time to stipulate how I want the car driven, at what speed, and whether I want the person in the passenger seat or the driver’s seat to be responsible.