Okay we all know who they are, we’ve all been stuck behind them at some point, heck some of you are them! Yes those oh so annoying, gliding along at a glacial pace, weaving from side to side making it impossible to overtake and then randomly stopping dead in their tracks and pausing pensively trying to recall what they were doing in the first place. I’ll tell you what you’re meant to be doing, fricken moving! Not standing in the middle of the aisle with your feet planted wide causing a human pile up behind you. Slow walkers really piss me off. When I’m out and about in the shops I actually tend to have a purpose, I’m not just wasting my Saturday strolling along with my uncontrollable spawn running headlong into oncoming pedestrians whilst covered in an unidentifiable sticky substance. Take your brood to the bloody park if you want them to run wild and loose. Don’t take them to the aisles of the supermarket and let them run amok whilst you stand with an oversized pram the size of a station wagon smack bang in the middle of the walkway blocking the human traffic coming from both ends. It’s fine if it takes you 10 minutes to remember why you’ve come to this fluorescent lit time warp and what it was again that you needed to buy in the first place, toilet paper, canned goods, a lobotomy, whatever; just don’t do it when you’re in my way. I want to get in and out when I go grocery shopping. Unlike you I don’t want to waste hours in this soul consuming twilight zone trying to buy the essentials. But you haven’t yet grasped this concept. Here’s a tip; stick to the side of the aisle, leave way for those of us that actually know where we’re going and want to get there quickly.
Regards, Fast walker.
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