Date me and you’ll be hitched in a year…to another woman.

By Roxanne Alcorn

Should a happily-single, joyfully-independent, deliriously-unattached young woman be at all concerned that all her ex-boyfriends are getting married? As the next wedding rolls around this weekend, I’m wondering what to say in my speech. My last wedding was only two weeks ago. They’re coming so thick and fast, I barely have time to invent new material. Don’t get me wrong. I love weddings, and I’m very happy for the lucky couple, blah blah blah. And I’m TOTALLY fine with some of my friends beginning to jokingly remind me that it’s only 17 years until I’m 40, so I’d better hurry up and find a man. Actually, to be exact, it’s 17 years, two months and one day until I’m 40. Not that I’m counting down or anything, it’s just that I added a new Facebook application that calculates things like that for me.

Speaking of Facebook, that’s how I found out this latest ex of mine was getting hitched. Yes, that’s right, he changed his relationship status from “in a relationship” to “engaged.” In fact, every time I venture onto Facebook, I’m given a running commentary of which friends are “single,” which ones are looking for “whatever I can get,” and which ones say “it’s complicated” every second day. Very soon, say in a year or so, all their statuses will probably read the same; “we’re either married or in a serious relationship so there’s nothing really exciting to report.”

I realise I’m beginning to sound like a cynical, bitter, twisted old woman who’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend. This is totally incorrect. The relationship was happily ended and I can see he’s a wonderful match for his bride-to-be. I really am looking forward to the wedding. I’m even relatively ok about having to sing the totally mushy and possibly overdone hit of Shania Twain’s, “From this moment on.” Yes, as you may have guessed, it will be a country wedding, which is sure to mean a boot-scooting good time.

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